Earlier in October, it became known that the celebrity couple Chrissy Teigen and John Legend lost their son halfway through the pregnancy.
On the blog Medium, Teigen now opens up about the time both before and after. She also thanks the outside world for all the support that has flowed in.
“For weeks we have been surrounded by care. Greetings have poured in, and I have read every single one with teary eyes. Messages on social media from strangers have filled my days ».
Teigen is known as a model, cookbook author and presenter. She and artist John Legend already have daughters Lune Simone (4) and Miles Theodore (2).
See this post on Instagram
We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. . . We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever. . . To our Jack – I’m so sorry that the first few moments of your life were met with so many complications, that we couldn’t give you the home you needed to survive. We will always love you. . . Thank you to everyone who has been sending us positive energy, thoughts and prayers. We feel all of your love and truly appreciate you. . . We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we’ve been able to experience. But everyday can’t be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.
A post shared by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) Sep. 30, 2020 kl. 8:58 PDT
The placenta came loose
The son was to be named Jack. The reason he never got to see the light of day was that the placenta came loose too soon. The baby would never have survived the entire pregnancy in the womb. This is how Teigen describes the days in advance:
“After a few nights in the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming, that it was time to say goodbye. He would not survive this, and if we let it go any further, then it was not certain that I would either. We had tried bag upon bag of blood transfusions, but every single one went straight through me as if we had done nothing at all. Late one night I was told it was time to let go the next morning.
On the blog, she further writes that she does not remember much from the day she lost her third child.
“I was rolled in, covered with a thin blanket, and knew I was going to give birth to what would be the fifth member of our beautiful family, a son, only to have to say goodbye the moment after.”
Took controversial photos
Teigen asked her husband and mother to take pictures of the day they lost their child, no matter how difficult it was. The photos were shared on Instagram.
“I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them. He just had to do it. He hated it. It made no sense to him then. But I knew I needed to remember this moment forever, just as I had to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. I also knew that I absolutely needed to share this story “, writes Teigen.
The pictures became a talking point, and the couple received a lot of criticism for their openness. The discussion about how they handled grief was discussed in both American and British talk shows. In the blog post, Teigen responds to the criticism:
“I can not express how little I care that you hate the pictures. I lived it, I decided to do it, and more than anything else, these pictures are not for anyone other than the people who have experienced this or who are curious enough to wonder what this is like. These pictures are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others mean nothing to me ».
Teigen writes that she will never forget the experience. She lay in the maternity ward for hours, waiting to be told it was time to push. When she started, it went fast, since the child was so small.
“I opened my legs and looked at John, and suddenly he was on his way out. The doctors screamed a little and .. I do not know what to say, not even now. He was out. My mom, John and I all got to hold him and say goodbye. Mother sobbed prayer in Thai. I asked the nurses if they could show me his hands and feet and I kissed them again and again. I do not know when I stopped. It may have been ten minutes or one hour.
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