There is no place like home
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Photo: Well done
Is this how it feels to be excited? Under deck? After the mess that was Mediterranean Sea- In season five, I’m careful about giving this franchise another chance so quickly – I know Captain Lee definitely wouldn’t. But there are so many reasons I really want to see this season (aside from a paycheck, of course). For starters, what the hell is this show going to do without Kate Chastain? When we credit Under deckThe rise to person in the last half decade, it’s the smart, snappy, business-like chef stew. I really can’t blame her for leaving after last season’s testosterone mayhem, as much as I’ll miss her iconic comment this season. (By the way, she’s doing fine with a cozy new appearance on Bravo Chat room.) Go inside Under deck In season eight, she leaves three large streaks that someone can fill. It just feels right to open this up by taking our wine glasses to Kate Chastain, doesn’t it?
Of course there is also the pandemic of everything. This season of Under deck played when COVID-19 closed the world, reminding us that at the beginning of this episode, “11. February 2020 ”flashes on the screen. Pretty threatening, no? Do we really want to watch the crew’s stress build up over the course of the season when they find out about COVID? Hasn’t it even been through enough for us? But unlike other Bravo shows that hold great promise (well, threatening) to tackle the pandemic, The Real Orange County housewives and Southern charm There is more at stake among them Under deck. At some point, the pandemic virtually brought the international leisure travel industry to a standstill. How will this affect the crew of? Meine Seanna?
Oh, and I’m talking about the crew! They arrive. Under deck OG Eddie Lucas is back as Bosun after ending season three in disgrace. He spent the season fighting his girlfriend, cheating on her with the third Rocky Dakota stew, and hiding her boatman from the crew until the finale. (To be fair, it’s been five years. He told me in an interview, “Hopefully I’ve learned a lot since then, and I’ve hopefully grown.”) The producers save us those details in his entrance because Eddie has a bigger problem right now : Captain Lee is not on the boat. His mug sits empty and unattended on the bridge so you know something is going on. Eddie calls and finds out that Lee is in the hospital after falling that morning and may have broken a few ribs. Sure he’s fine because the trailer shows him chartering (and maybe even starting guests!) This season, but it’s still a bit stressful!
Then our new chef Francesca comes on board and talks about how much she is a perfectionist and what high expectations she has. She feels like she will be similar to Bugsy from last season of With as a chef stew: hardworking, doing her job, not a reality star. Eddie explains Francesca Lee’s situation and then it’s a whirlwind of the crew. Avery is a hard worker with a lot of experience who is pretty passionate about Lead Deckhand. Elizabeth is a woo-woo spiritual person but also seems to be at work. James is a hot English boy and he knows it because he flirts with Francesca as soon as he’s on board. Izzy has a null filter and I look forward to recording her one liners. And if the blonde surfer hair and flowery shirt doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about Shane, he’s a UC Berkeley graduate trying out sailing so he doesn’t have to get a big tech job. We’re getting every yacht trophy this season, don’t we? The casting directors have outdone themselves.
Let’s talk about Meine Seanna real quick: It hasn’t changed since we last saw it in season six, which means the furniture and hardwood surfaces come straight from your grandmother’s house and there’s carpet all over. On a boat ?? In this terribly outdated Sky Lounge, Francesca meets up with her stews Elizabeth and Izzy, even though she hasn’t assigned them second and third places? I don’t know who would be in which role. Then, for some reason, Shane rushes their meeting, meaning he’s not with the other deckhands as they prepare to wash the boat. I have a feeling we’ll see a lot of this from Shane.
Rachel gets on while the crew is working! She’s the cook Lee talked about so much See what happens live last month, and she already went through it and stole her purse before she even got to the boat. Then here are supplies (including a large box of condoms) and soon Captain Lee too! It turned out he hadn’t broken any ribs or had surgery. It only hurts when it moves and breathes. All in all a win? His meeting with the crew basically boils down to this: Don’t do any of the stupidity the crew did last year. He’s not afraid to fire people, he assures them (as if we had to be told Stud of the Sea supporters). Then he has a separate meeting with Francesca and tells her about it his high expectations and how his pants weren’t ironed properly and tell us how much he misses Kate. Aw!
On the morning of February 12th (because this is how the passage of time works for those of us who may have forgotten) Shane does yoga on the bow to get into the “state of flow” that will apparently help him close the boat scrubbing and moving jet skis. Captain Lee’s answer when he sees it: “What the hell?” That is also his internal answer when Izzy brings his breakfast – coffee with Coffee Mate and a bowl of Cheerios – 32 minutes after he asked for it. She asks him to tell her “if it’s not the way you like it,” and he should tell her right away that he doesn’t like his breakfast 25 minutes late, but he saves it for later.
Our first main guest is Charley, an icon among charter guests who have chartered value in the fifth season and exactly this boat in the sixth season. He even remembers the bathroom when his friend passed out! He’s also noticeably surprised to see Francesca and not Kate Chastain, and who can blame him? He also tells James and Shane (who is cute but not hot – you get me) that they have beautiful eyes, and who can blame him? Charley himself is back with a new friend, Carlos, who is also cayuuute. Under deck: getting through for those of us who haven’t been on a date in over eight months.
Charley and his group of girls and gays order espresso martinis and it takes them forever because Izzy makes the espresso shots. “I could have gone to Starbucks: Antigua,” says one of his friends. (Did I mention we’re in Antigua? We’re in Antigua! I wish we were really in Antigua.) Then Rachel gets away with the snacks, thank goodness, including tempeh which fills my cold vegetarian heart. A chef who can cook vegan? On one Under deck Yacht?? Francesca has more important work to do, so she hands the mixing over to Izzy, who has to learn how to make an espresso martini and is slow as always when she makes it. I would say she should go back and make herself an espresso, but that would take way too long. On the deck, Charley and his friends are fed up with waiting, so he takes orders and goes inside and commands Izzy’s bar because he wants his drinks so damn bad. “Of Get the sunscreen for Ashley. Ill make the drinks, ”he says to Izzy, and it’s an icon to him and embarrassing to her. But what better way to learn than with a first charter full of difficult homosexuals?
So Izzy gets Francesca and then complains to us about the “extra as fuck” guests and the chef stew. Did you see the show Francesca talks Charley away from the bar and warns her like a delicious piece of shadow: “Today we call it the ‘learning curve’. Let’s call tomorrow, do it right. “Then we’ll find out Elizabeth can Make cocktails, so she makes cocktails, she does. And there is Shane who comes in and swaps the bar’s plastic straws for paper straws (which he packaged!), Because in his words, “If we destroy our earth, where do people go? The moon? Yes, exactly! ”Yes, we have to fix the planet, but this man chooses the wrong battles: You work on a charter yacht! The straws are not what is destroying the planet!
Rachel has made a divine lunch spread that is supposed to make these guests forget all about their late drinks: fresh lobster, steak, roasted sweet potatoes, and an avocado dressing with white balsamic reduction that Charley raves about. Rachel says she sees food as a science and all I know is that I’ll love her.
After lunch, head to the jet skis. The guests make Eddie and Lee nervous by pushing each other into the water and getting too close to the boat, or something like that. But the real drama takes place on the bridge where Avery told Captain Lee he had to go. Not even an episode in! His grandmother was sick, he explains, and she couldn’t make it through the night, and he wants to be with his family. Lee understands, because how could you not? So Avery says goodbye and takes the tender back ashore. Poor Eddie, who just lost his most skilled deckhand by a mile! “It’s like I haven’t been fucked enough on this trip!” Says Lee. He has no idea what’s coming.
In stock this season: plenty of alcohol, more difficult homosexuals, Rachel serves sushi from a woman’s naked body, James flirts with Francesca … and Elizabeth, Izzy praises the virtues of her vibrator Shane certainly get fired, Rachel may leave, and Lee terminates a skinny-diving guest’s charter. Oh yeah, and COVID like I need to remind you.
• According to Elizabeth, Francesca is “in a good mood”.
• James, wearing shorts, walked up to his waist, “I honestly think this is the longest time I’ve been without jerking off since I was 14.” Eddie: [pause] [thumbs up] [clears throat] “Okay.”
• My favorite moment for Charley, of course, is when he had love for me Under deck-Josiah Carter, watching life, wears a gold speedo suit.
• Time for some wild speculation! So Eddie told me in our interview that “by the end of the season there have been some really drastic changes” when it comes to COVID. He also remembered flying back from the season on St. Patrick’s Day or March 17th, which seems to be tight for a season that started February 11th. The restrictions on ports and international flights appeared to have slowed the yacht industry by mid-March. I would bet the pandemic ended a little earlier this season.
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