Israelis and Palestinians find humour and hacks amid missile alerts

Nevin Al Sukari - Sana'a - A view of the Old City of Jerusalem and Aqsa Mosque. — AFP pic

JERUSALEM, March 10 — What is Israel’s best bomb shelter? And when is the best time of day to shower without interruption from a missile alert?

The Middle East war that began with US and Israeli strikes on Iran has provoked waves of retaliatory Iranian fire as well as some tricky questions for Jews and Arabs from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.

A new app, which went viral in the country within hours of launching, uses statistical analysis of recent air raid alerts in specific areas to guide users on the optimal time of day to bathe, while limiting the chances of having to run for cover mid-wash.

“Can’t even take a shower. I’m naked in the dining room. Is that normal?” quipped an Israeli on a Telegram account with 60,000 followers, as an alert warning of incoming Iranian missiles ordered residents to head for shelter.

Time Out, a publication known for directing people towards trendy restaurants and cocktail bars, is also trying to help the public navigate the war.

It has published a list of desirable Tel Aviv beach spots based on their proximity to a shelter.

“We searched and found beaches that are near compliant protected areas (shelters) you can reach in just a few minutes’ walk if necessary. Don’t panic!”

Journalist Ofek Tzach has offered a ranking of Tel Aviv’s public shelters.

Among the low performers are one that he derides as packed with tourists, another “with barking dogs,” and a third he says is “quiet but with no one to talk to.”

Married in bomb shelter 

There have also been endearing moments that have captured the public’s attention.

The wedding venue booked by Lior and Michael was no longer available, due to security restrictions, so the couple got married in a shelter—four levels below ground in a shopping centre parking lot.

“It was a wonderful moment,” even if seventy percent of the people there were strangers, Michael told Israel’s Channel 13.

There has also been a surge of online advice on how to make time in shelters more bearable.

Books, music and cushions are popular recommendations, standing in contrast to the more austere guidance from Israeli authorities, which includes having a radio, batteries, a phone charger and ID papers.

For Palestinians living in Israeli-annexed east Jerusalem, responses to the relentless air raid sirens have tilted towards dark humour.

There are few public shelters in the eastern part of the city and private shelters are almost non-existent.

“At the moment, Palestinians are taking a plate of qatayef and going up to the roof” to watch the missiles, said a Facebook post by pastry chef Mohammad Alayan, referring to the dessert traditionally eaten during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan.

Palestinians in east Jerusalem regularly film rockets streaking through the sky from their rooftops.

Palestinians also took playful aim at a Facebook post by Jerusalem Mayor Moshe Lion detailing the proper conduct when an air raid siren sounds.

One comment on the post, apparently from a resident of the east Jerusalem refugee camp Shuafat, asked: “What is someone in Shuafat refugee camp supposed to do? Jump out the window?” — AFP