Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Season 15 Premiere

The best part of this season 15 premiere is based on the show’s original inspiration. Jeana Keough, friend of series creator Scott Dunlop and the first real housewife ever cast, utters vague platitudes while clips of the recent destruction can be seen in the background. It’s like the beginning and the end of every episode of Desperate HousewivesThe show that Bravo broke off and then surprisingly survived.

“They say the seasons don’t change here. But that’s not entirely true, ”says Jeana, the only OC original she could possibly get on the phone, now that Victoria Denise Gunvalson Jr. is still throwing a tantrum on her giant kitchen island for getting fired. “There is the winter of past friendships, the spring of new beginnings, the fiery summer of new romances and the autumn harvest or the harvest of what we sow.”

Those words conjure up the past of the ghosts of the housewives and we see Vicki screaming over a family car, Tamra Barney tossing Judge Jeana a glass of wine, Jo de la Rosa doing a doomed striptease for Slade Smiley, and Heather Dubrow saying, “It it’s not my fault ”with an aeon of dramatic pause between each word. It’s absolutely addicting. Then we see how the opening of the women holding their oranges changes year after year, and one face transforms into another, like the ending of Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” video.

This is an interesting note for the show, which, like the fourth wall, we saw a number of times. It’s the real housewives who indulge in their own nostalgia. It responds to the impulse from the fans not only to want to see the new episodes, but also the drama of the old, the charged moments of TV that we can never stop, those moments where, as the children say, ours live Thoughts rent free. This is a step that can only be practiced by a show with longevity. RHOC celebrates its 15th anniversary in March and something like this montage shows that the show is not only in the past because its best days are behind it, but because so few other shows can claim such a story.

The rest of this episode is a bit unmooring to be honest. Without Vicki or Tamra this season, we’re free from OGs. Shannon Beador is now the high-ranking member of the House’s Ways and Means Committee (wives) and joined the cast on season nine. Without those Lodestars in the cast, I don’t even remember the allegiances. Yes, Emily and Gina are tense besties (although they didn’t share a single scene, so emphasis on the tense ones), but where are all the other lines of battle? Do they even exist?

First we have to get in touch with all the women as there has been a lot going on since last season. Above all, everyone has a new house and everyone has a new husband. Should we talk about Shannon’s house or her husband first? Okay, let’s start with the house, a spacious colonial house in Newport Beach that has plenty of space but isn’t the bold palace she lived in with ex-husband David. There is no basketball court with a beador B. in the middle now with Shannon paying the bills himself (with generous spouse support). But there’s a gym with a fake Warhol of Shannon’s face that looks like a diamond-coated middle finger to David.

Shannon’s new husband is called John and he is handsome, fit, tall, and most importantly, he looks wealthy. A friend introduced her eight months before filming started and they’ve been together every day since then, even though he doesn’t live there. John has three kids too, so we see a mixed dinner with Shannon, Sophie (who’s going to Baylor in the fall – or so she thought!) And twins Adeline and Stella who are 15 and beautiful. How “watch out Gigi and Bella” is wonderful. For example “too short to be a supermodel, but definitely more Instagram followers than Brielle Zolciak Biermann”.

We also meet John’s kids, Juliet, Jessica, and Joe, who are 22 years old and about a week away from being exclusive to Corbin Fisher. (Please don’t google this. If you don’t get it, the joke is not for you.) I now understand that all of his children’s names begin with J, and probably his ex-wife’s as well, and I want to give myself papercuts with a million posed family Christmas photo postcards. They have a fun dinner shooting Silly String at each other and it’s great to see Shannon smile for a change.

Next up is Gina, who has a “town house” in Rancho Viejo. Shannon comes to visit and puts her nine lemons in a bowl because nothing says “housewarming” like self-referential humor. Gina’s tiny, three-bedroom bedroom is brought to you by HomeGoods. I swear there is so much “live. Laugh. Love. ”At this point it seems like product integration. She shows Shannon around and Shannon keeps saying, “It’s nice,” but her face says, “Get me out of this door and back to the beach.”

Gina’s house has a “boy bedroom” and a “girl bedroom” and they are full of bunk beds as if they were stolen from the set The boat. That’s because Gina is also playing Brady Bunch with her new husband Travis who is the most Travis person you will ever meet. He’s handsome, has a full beard and more than one belly. If he liked cock a little more, the North American homosexual would call him one Berries. This helps explain something that needs to be addressed and that makes me a little uncomfortable: Gina got fat. Fortunately, she acknowledges that herself, otherwise I would feel a little bad when I speak to it.

Because that’s the thing: Gina doesn’t fat. It’s just bigger than before. She’s still pretty and perfectly acceptable in weight, but she’s … noticeably larger. I think when she was with Matt he was the type of guy with a killer body who thought a kale and mango salad was a treat. Now she’s with Travis, and he’s the guy who says, “Why don’t we all order ours have Pizza. “You know what? I would certainly much rather be with a Travis than a Matt, but I’m not on TV either and I let millions of people judge me. (And thank god for that because my COVID weight seems to be waiting for a vaccine before deciding it’s time to leave me alone.)

Kelly hasn’t got a new house, at least not yet, despite removing doors from Shannon and Braunwyn, who literally live around the corner from each other. She got a new husband named Rick Rosenthal, and he’s a Fox News reporter and (with a deep sigh) yes. Kelly seems great, however. It is laid regularly as it will tell us every opportunity it gets.

Braunwyn has the same old man wearing the same stupid old man jewelry (at this point it feels like a personal minor) but she has a huge new house that is 8,000 square feet and a gym, theater for the kids , a meditation room, a pirate ship play area in the back yard and a night club in the basement. Is there anything sadder than a nightclub in a suburban basement? If you want this life then move to a city and go to a real night club. Don’t put a bunch of black lights in your basement and write “Cheers to Bad Choices” in neon on the walls and use it like once you move in and then never again.

Everyone has a new girlfriend named Elizabeth Vargas. Due to the 2012 Eileen Davidson Agreement, we cannot judge them for five episodes. However, she is divorcing a Norwegian fish tycoon who she says is a billionaire (although the incredibly reliable celebrity says he is only worth $ 200 million, so maybe not?). She’s both Kelly and Braunwyn’s friend, so she has a natural connection with the group. Let’s see how to do that, shall we?

Now that we’re all up to date, the episode’s drama is about whether Kelly and Shannon can be friends again after Kelly called Jim Bellino, an orangutan’s mylar balloon, after he called her and Tamra sued for talking shit about his business on a podcast. This is a stupid fight because everyone knows Kelly did this only to get back to Tamra and that Kelly was collateral damage. She only did this after Tamra had spoken to all sorts of people with dirt about Kelly. So if Shannon really wants to be mad at someone, she should be mad at Tamra.

Braunwyn brings her two new neighbors together in her home and gives them recordings so they can start over. Kelly even brings a present for Shannon, a card game with Uno, because the Tres Amigas are now at Uno. That’s an amazingly sick burn, and that’s why Kelly Dodd will always be a great real housewife, even if she … marries a Fox News reporter.

Throughout the episode, including this meeting, everyone talked about Braunwyn’s drinking and how she wasted all this time. Kelly says she never knew Braunwyn was turning down a drink, and Emily says the reason she never got near her was because she was wasted all the time. “You can’t have a deep conversation with someone who can’t get up,” she says.

When it all came out, I kept thinking: Oh god, they’re preparing us for a season where we’ll argue about whether Braunwyn is drunk or not. It will be like Dorinda’s again. But then it took a turn. Braunwyn tells Emily how she hid alcohol and secretly drank it, and how it got so wasted on Kelly’s bachelorette party in Miami that she shivered if she didn’t drink. It rarely happens that housewives are responsible for their drunk behavior. The only time we’ve ever actually seen it was when the court told Luann to go to AA, and even then, a few weeks after her probationary period ended, she was back on the sauce at a charity event and got drunk for the rest of the time the season.

It will be interesting to see more of Braunwyn’s sobriety journey, especially around a group of women who not only enjoy drinking, but often partying their drunken antics – much to the delight of those of us who watch at home. When the beginning of the episode showed us whispers from the past, the ending showed us some echoes from the future, and they were surprisingly quite powerful. Braunwyn looked into the camera and said, “My name is Braunwyn and I’m an alcoholic.” For a minute it all fell away and I had something deep inside, like a little glow of concern.