Five newcomers to the Premier League we can’t wait to see...

Thomas Partey

The international break has served as a welcome breaker in partey puns, but extreme vigilance is required now that we reopen the Premier League. Inevitably the infection rate will rise again, but we just have to learn to live with the Partey puns. We can’t all stop ourselves from never looking on Twitter.

He left his name and that apparently permanent deterioration in relationships between Arsenal and Atletico Madrid, what a signature it was for Arsenal at the end of the transfer window.

While the inevitable comparisons are with Patrick Vieira very lazy and offensive In a way, Arsenal’s soft center midfield has been a running joke for years. Maybe they finally found an answer – let’s put the pressure on him by insisting that on his first taste of Premier League action, he immediately take control of the action in the simplest of midfield battles: Manchester City away .

Gareth Bale

With the tantalizing prospect of the Premier League continuing its commitment to nonsense this season and rising into a seasonal, all-free peat festival, Gareth Bale is perhaps the most intriguing variable of all.

His former manager has already proposed Bale’s arrival and the nonsense that’s already going on could be enough to push a Tottenham title bid forward. Bale’s agent confirmed this feeling. It’s probably a bit much, but who really knows at this stupidest time of year?

We know Bale is a very different player than the one who left Tottenham seven years ago, but we don’t know exactly how good he is anymore. With all the talk of his death, golf and flags, resentment and disenchantment, we only have to go back two years to still make Bale his world-class best.

And if ever there was a league that seems to be tailored specifically to his style of play, it is this defense-allergic Premier League season. If ever there were teammates who were tailored specifically for him, it was Harry Kane and Heung-min Son who frankly took the absolute piss off some teams.

If Bale remains something like the player we know, that’s a really absurd front three for a not entirely elitist team. Damn it, maybe her will Win the league. Classic Jose.

For Bale, on the other hand, the prospect of making his second Spurs debut against West Ham this weekend, against which he was previously.

Rhian Brewster

It just never happened to him at Liverpool, but now he has to prove that the champions let the wrong striker go. He should definitely get his chance on a Sheffield United team that has only scored one goal in four Premier League games this season and may also have the ideal debut against Fulham, both of which are steeped in history.

Theo Walcott

He’s taken it a step further than Bale and all the way back to where it really started.

The man himself said that why that is so beautifulSo let’s let his own words explain why we look forward to a beautiful cause in a year when they are so lacking.

“I’ve had some opportunities from other clubs but once Southampton came in for me it’s part of me and made me who I am. It’s in my heart

“I bet I’ll probably cry the first time I play and that means so much. I cannot thank everyone who made it possible enough. To be honest, I’m so happy.

“When Southampton came on the table I was seriously speechless and it was such an easy decision for me.

“To get the chance to work with the manager and these young players, I feel like I made the right choice.”

Nice stuff.

Alex Such

The wreckage of the Manchester United transfer window combined with the fallout of the ridiculous twattering versus Spurs meant there was little fanfare over Telles’ arrival, but even a blind squirrel finds the occasional nut and United might just have a good one here.

Luke Shaw is so far from the game that England would rather pick literally each and every one of their right-backs in turn and it now looks like their streak of games for United is coming to an end. With United still having to rely on the other flawed components of their defense, still waiting for Edinson Cavani to end his spell in isolation, and still working under the delusion that Solskjaer is a manager worthy of his current role finds himself United suddenly again invested quite a bit in Telles to make a seamless transition to English football. As with so many other newcomers at this silliest time of year, it almost doesn’t matter whether he does it or not; it will be convincing either way.

Dave Tickner