MedPage today had the opportunity to sit down with Johnny Fartpants, PhD, one of the most prominent signers of the Declaration – on his insistence as we are recovering from COVID-19 and Fartpants was out to infect himself.
The following has been edited for the sake of clarity and because we did not like some of his answers.
MedPage today: Let’s start with you telling us something about yourself.
Thank you very much. Do you mind if I sit closer
No go on
Well, first I would like to dispel some misconceptions about myself. I’m definitely a real doctor – I worked very hard for this PhD in art history. In addition, the criticism that I have no medical training is unfounded. My dissertation focused on the Tintoretto painting “St. Roch, which serves the plague victims ”, so I am very familiar with pandemic reactions. Also, I am on a lot of Facebook groups devoted to vaccines and I keep my checkbook in my head. Statements that I cannot comment on on public health issues are, obviously, pure defamation.
The Great Barrington document cites the adverse effects of current social distancing policies – “lower vaccination rates in children, worsening cardiovascular disease outcomes, fewer cancer screenings, and worsening mental health” – as reasons for favoring rapid spread of the coronavirus takes into account infection. However, data suggests that countries with the strictest infection control policies had the fewest “excessive deaths” – in some cases fewer deaths than normal years, while COVID-19 cases were kept at very low levels.
You will get hers at some point. And we’re not New Zealand – we can’t feed on kiwis and whatever they eat there. We need our restaurants that serve foot-high burgers with bacon and cheese in front of crowded crowds in order to survive as a democratic society. You see what happened in Michigan when people were disadvantaged – it was like “Mad Max” meeting “Fargo”.
One consequence of the fact that infections are widespread even in low risk populations is that a percentage will become seriously ill. Her group hopes to reach around 200 million infections within a few months, at a time when influenza will also be circulating. At a hospitalization rate of 2% (as shown by a calculator for an average white 35-year-old man of normal weight with no risk factors) that would bring 4 million people to the hospital.
Then we shouldn’t wait to build more hospitals. Gosh, it’s like I’m here with Dr. Talk to Fauci. Not that I ever did, he doesn’t answer my DMs, emails, or phone calls. Because he’s not interested in the truth! [shouting]
And what about those who develop symptoms and therefore cannot go to work? The statement says they should stay home. That would be tens of millions of people. That will certainly hurt the economy.
You can work from home like I did thanks to the Philistine blinking ignorance of the community college where I serve as an adjunct. Those who can’t should get 100% unemployment benefits, which President Trump and his Republican friends in Congress are sure to be ready, just like all year round.
So who are “the vulnerable” mentioned in the document? It mentions nursing home residents “as an example” but does not provide guidance on who else might be involved. Others have estimated that 30% or more of the population could be affected as obesity, diabetes, and other common conditions beyond age are significant risk factors.
As the old margarine commercial said, it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature. It is only natural that the sick and the weak fail when things get difficult. It’s chlorine for the gene pool, if you know what I mean. Darwin had a theory about it.
The explanation assumes that infection creates immunity, but this is unknown. The antibody titers decrease significantly over time. It is true that few cases of reinfection have been documented, but with so many infections that have few or no symptoms and therefore go undiagnosed, many current cases could be second.
It is important to have faith here. Do you believe in God?
Now, I …
I didn’t think so. The story of this planet is that infections induce immunity, the strong survive, and the weak avoid us. The most important thing is that I have to get a proper university job so I can move out of my parents’ basement. You drive me crazy You feel the same way. Maybe more.
If a vaccine becomes available before you manage to contract a natural infection, are you taking it?
Are you Bill Gates now? I think you weren’t listening when I mentioned being a part of Facebook groups.
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